My Early Pregnancy Fears

My Early Pregnancy Fears

There’s nothing quite like seeing double – two lines, that is! I have to admit – even though this baby is planned, when I first got a positive result, I burst into tears. And not happy tears, either. I was crying like a, well, BABY.

I was so OVERWHELMED! I was TERRIFIED! And I wasn’t excited. But I know exactly why.

I’ve always been a nervous Nelly. I tend to let fear and anxiety creep in and take over. I immediately started worrying about the baby’s health. Was everything OK? I took three positive pregnancy tests, but was I really even pregnant?

I found out I was pregnant on a Friday night, and called my doctor’s office as soon as they opened on Monday morning. I’m talking 8:30 on the dot. I thought I would go in, give a little blood and get the all-clear that everything was fine so far. When they told me my first appointment would be at eight weeks, I was devastated. Here I was, a person who is deathly afraid of needles, practically begging to get my blood drawn.

And then the anxiety really started.

I would wake up looking normal, then my belly would look huge at night! Was it TWINS?! OMG, I couldn’t handle twins! Please tell me it’s not twins, I thought! Once I had that fear in my head, it wouldn’t go away. At five, six and seven weeks, I would do Google image searches for belly bumps of singleton moms vs. twin moms to compare mine.

The 3 ½ weeks between my positive pregnancy test and my first appointment were some of the longest weeks of my life. The day of my first appointment and ultrasound, I immediately broke down in tears out of sheer anxiety. But as soon as the tech pointed out that everything looked perfect, (and there was only one baby!) I physically felt an immediate sense of relief.

I have to keep reminding myself to just chill out, because 40 weeks is a long time to be stressed!

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