I sat at Lava Cantina last Thursday way past my bedtime to see my favorite band, TRAPT, perform. As I left my kids with a sitter, I felt guilty. Laughing, singing and enjoying my time wondering “will this guilt ever end?” My kids were safely asleep in their bed, in the care of someone who has cared for them since they were infants, but here I was letting them slip into my head during the quiet between bands or washing my hands in the bathroom.

TRAPT has a song named for this post. In the song, it states,

“So much pressure to fit in
You never know where to begin
Whose influence?
Whose influence are you under now?”

I used the words with my students as an example during the creative writing unit to show how to make a song a story. A song that in my youth represented something different, now made me think of where I sat, and why I was feeling the way I do.

In a day where social media fills our lives, happy pictures flood our screens, profiles filled with perfect kids in perfect moods on perfect days. Of moms that make everything look effortless, and I see myself sweaty in my “fat jeans” who actually took time to straighten her hair and wonder “was it worth it?” The song plays, and I start to think, who is influencing me? Why at 34 do I still lack confidence? Why do I feel guilty about leaving my kids?

After this introspection, I call out to fellow moms, take time for yourself! Sing along loudly at your favorite concert, and enjoy a night out. Remember…to be a good mom, you must take care of yourself! Be the positive influence to other moms. Let them know they are not alone.